There once was a baby named Grumpus
Whose bellows of rage used to stump us
Is the child possessed?
Existentially distressed?
No, he just has to take a big dumpus.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
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Rhymes with Patoot
- Newt
- Howdy, I'm Newt. After three miscarriages and a lost twin, I was lucky enough to welcome a real live baby in January of 2009. Although we are now experts in managing the emotional and physical terrors of miscarriage, Mr. Newt and I don't know shit from shinola when it comes to real live babies. We are hoping to enjoy a nice long learning curve.
More plot twists than the second season of Lost.
- 8/07 Holy Cats, we're pregnant!
- 9/07 Blighted Ovum, D&C
- 11/07 BFP, Chemical Pregnancy
- 2/08 BFP, Chemical Pregnancy
- 3/08 First appt. with RE; lots of tests, all negative, prometrium prescribed.
- 4/08 BFP
- 5/08 Hold on to your muffins, it's twins!
- 6/08 Fuck fuck fuck. No heartbeat on baby B.
- 1/09 The Newtlet is born! Alert the Media! Greatest Baby Ever!
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14 comments:
*laughs hysterically scaring Poppet close by on sofa"
Again you are cracking me up. Even awakening at 4 AM, you still have your wonderful sense of humor.
Sleep deprivation is doing wonderful things for your muse.
haha. hilarity!!!
:-) "The Grumpus" is legendary at our house. When The Grumpus appears, everybody run!
- dr.girlfriend
Love the limerick.
And why are babies such fans of the 4am poop?
Baaahhhhh!!
you are hilarious!
DUDE! You are the next Dr. Seuss. That shit is funny!
I am blinded by your limericking talent! Well done!
Oh how I've missed your limericks!!
I don't know how I found your site (too much clicking and clacking to track) but what a laugh. That was priceless. Thank you.
Go buy a swing. A good one, preferably with an AC adapter as it will save you lots of money and time on changing batteries. I spent 6 hellish weeks sleeping with my son in the crook of my arm on the reclining sofa. He had bad gas and would not lay flat. He started sleeping through the night (6-7 hrs) within a week of sleeping in the swing. The fisher price swing we got is actually like a recliner (check out the Fisher Price Papasan Cradle) in that it is angled so baby is not laying flat. It’s not cheap, but can you really put a price on not tossing your child out the window… I mean, getting a good night’s sleep.
tossing your baby out the window ha ha haha oh I'll give a million dollars to she who has never let that thought flit through her mind even once...(not that I have no faith that every single mom thinks it~ disclaimer: I do not have said million dollars for the liar who says they never thought it)
ok now that we've taken care of that I have completely forgotten what I was gonna say...I'm a train wreck...lack of sleep, forgetting to open the window I tried to throw said gassy non sleeper out of...could be anything.
how you're as funny as you are with little to no sleep is mind boggling dear...
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