Romping.

From last weekend's Chicago Tribune Style Section, some good news for women with butts:

Two words: one piece. For a change, this spring's must-have item -- the jumpsuit -- won't leave you wondering how to dress your other half, the way bolero jackets or stirrup pants might have. All you have to do is hunt down today's adult onesie in the version that suits you best. And, boy, do you have options.

Oh yes, the "adult onesie," just the fashion item that women with regular bodies have been waiting for. Soooooo much more wearable than the dreaded bolero jacket, thank goodness.

At first I thought these things should come with some kind of disclaimer announcing they are not to be worn by anyone over the age of 17 or weighing more than 96 pounds, but if a Chicago Tribune Fashion Reporter* says the adult onesie is "this spring's must-have item," then who am I to argue? I think I'll buy this one. It looks so light and festive!

Won't my neighbors be delighted running into me in the frozen foods section of the Piggly Wiggly in my carefree and practical romper. "That Newt," they'll say, "She's so carefree and practical." "And that adult onesie doesn't make her ass look like a basket of rottweillers at all." I might even get voted homecoming queen.

It's nice to know, too, that the newtlet is perfectly stylish this summer.

He looks crabby, but baby pilot here is actually enjoying the simplicity of one-piece dressing. Ah, to be four months old again, and not know that horizontal stripes make you look fat.

We even have a special name for baby rompers around here, thanks to Mr. Newt. One day, just as the weather was warming up, I was lounging in bed at the glorious hour of seven or so, listening over the baby monitor as Mr. Newt got the baby up for the day and dressed.

Spying on my boys is one of my favorite activities.

Newtlet: Coo, coo.
Mr. Newt: So, what do you want to wear today? Time to get out your summer clothes.
Newtlet: Coo, coo
Mr. Newt: Hmmm . . . frogs? Fire trucks? Oh, look at this . . . it's a little action suit!
Newtlet: Giggle! Coo. Fart.

And so, internet, from that day forward, one-piece outfits for daytime have been known in our household as "action suits." If the newtlet grows up to be a superhero, it will almost certainly be his father's fault.

*********

*I feel bad picking on this probably underpaid lifestyle journalist, who didn't invent either the trend of romper dressing or the onerous term "adult onesie." As penance, I'm going to point you toward the same author's much better article on how you can turn to Etsy for a budget shopping fix. I love Etsy! Or this one, about what to do with your old bridesmaid dresses, which is quite funny. Given this oevre, I can only assume that the romper article was written with tongue at least partly in cheek. Or else Ms. A is delightfully deranged. Either way, I'm a fan.